It is all change at the top of both divisions this week as the Maple rise to the top of the.. err…Tree. Another away win for the team from the smart side of Penge as they beat the HGRC 8-5 in the basement in Beacon Road. The Maple deserve credit for starting so well this term and face bottom side the Rising Sun next week at home, in what looks like a potential one-sided contest on the face of it, like the burly steward slamming a child in the aftermath of the Rugby World Cup final. No doubt inspired by Boris ‘Bullingdon Bully Boy’ Johnson the steward went in with all the enthusiasm of Rafa Benitez at a buffet. Fair play to the way the New Zealanders reacted and to the RFU for awarding a second medal to Sonny Bill Williams after he gifted his to the startled child as he picked the turf out of his teeth.
But maybe it will not be such a one-sided contest, as the Sun inflicted a defeat on the Brick by 7 – 6. A good scalp this for the boys from Loampit Vale, and Harry’s hairdryer was doubtless in evidence once more, despite his team not being the most hirsute in the league, as the Brick slipped up and the Sun shone brightly from the bottom, which is hardly a first in this league.
In a hard-fought win the RT secured their first win of the season, as they beat the Brethren 7-6 at the Fellowship. On a lively night, there was as much banter as a night out with Robbie Savage and John Terry. Although JT apparently has more time for his bestie Rio ‘Peckham’s finest’ Ferdinand at the moment. Who is apparently, of a level that JT will acknowledge, unlike the blonde dimwit, whose level is akin to that of whale excrement.
The Brock A moved to top spot in Div 2, albeit via alphabetic order (Will Howe swears by it), as they travelled to Bovill Road and won by the odd leg against the high-flying Napier A. I imagine this is a more popular return to former glory than that of Phil Collins, who announced he was recording new material for the first time since 2002. This has provoked an online petition of true music fans and anyone with ears, that is designed to stop this aural abuse. So go to Change.Org and click on ‘Phil Collins must be stopped’.
Well played to the Cyphers who beat the struggling Fox's by 9 - 4 which undoubtably capped a good week for the Catford crew and a tough start for the guys from Kirkdale. Not such a good week for Oscar Pistorius, possibly the world’s most reviled legless man since the legendary Oliver Reed was alive, and a man that literally got away with murder as he may have to serve a proper jail term after the SA judicial system are considering whether the original verdict was a mistake. As a statement of the bleeding obvious, that is up there with the edict " Perhaps FIFA are a bit corrupt, let's look into it".
While poor Sepp Blatter was taken to a private clinic in Geneva, apparently unwell , and apparently (sadly) not DIGNITAS. The Prince beat the Nap B 7 - 6 in a close encounter between two of the team in the lower reaches of the division.
Nice to see that Chas has recovered from his close call with a bee in the crotch area and raise a whinny to the facially challenged Duchess that he calls his wife.
The other result in Div 2 was a win for the Brock B against the Catford CC as they stroked them to the boundary by a convincing 8 -5 margin. A convincing win, and far more convincing than the Photo-shopped poppy on Dave Cameron's jacket this week. It is hard to imagine the hysterical response this would have caused if this was Jeremy Corbyn neglecting to wear the British legion emblem, but that is the British free press for you.
Take delight in your throw and your opponent's too.
Darts Pie and a Pint
It is as you were in the first division this week, as the Powerhouse Penge marched on with an impressive 9 - 4 win at the Hither Green, who did so well at the Brick last week, and stretched their lead at the top to four points. This season the Penge boys seem to have their eye on the prize, unlike the summer finalists from the, ironically named, ‘Blind Pairs’, who failed with the notable exception of Jason to attend the Summer Presentation to collect what looked like a decent prize. Shame on you, it would have been good to applaud all the winners of what appears to be an innovative competition, but sadly Jason was left in splendid isolation.
The Summer Presentation, held at the Catford Cyphers, in case you forgot, suffered from MH370 syndrome, a distinct lack of bodies, which was a shame. I must admit also, that I have seen more dancing in the Matthew Harding stand at Stamford Bridge this season… Talking of defending champions, the RT opened the season with a 5 - 8 home defeat. Admittedly I was not there, but I am sure that Chas took defeat somewhat better than Jose Mourinho, whose antics now have become the story and the football is seemingly secondary. The Maple played well on the night stepping in to polish off the final three legs on the evening.
In the other top flight fixture, the Fellowship hosted the Brick for a tough first home game and captain Moe’s prayers were left unanswered as the worship ended in an 8 – 5 defeat. Keep the faith brothers! Personally I have been on my knees a little lately, but that is a different kettle of fish entirely. The Brick have made a solid start to the season, with Harry’s hairdryer being kept in his locker for the time being.
In the second division the Nap A surged to the top as another 11 legs were secured and they condemned the B to last place in the early standings. Roaring off like Lewis Hamilton into the distance, the Nap A won impressively. Let’s hope that the B had a little good grace in defeat, unlike Nico Rosberg whose party pooping behaviour was akin to Tim Sherwood’s demeanour last weekend as he finally accepted the truth. Yes, he is a Spurs reject.
There was another close call for the Brock B aas they won their second game of the season by the odd leg. Two wins for them, but they lag behind the leaders nevertheless. This is enough to make the most level headed amongst us resort to profanities. Fortunately, Mark Chandler no longer plays at the Brockley club, or the air would definitely be blue in SE4. Current ‘Potty Mouth’ of the league would undoubtedly be Will Howe of the ‘Profane’ Penge. The man who put the ‘cuss’ in customer and the ‘cont’ in self-control, but a lovely fella with it (by Penge standards). This result was a blow for the Cyphers after their 11 point haul last week and leaves them in third place.
The Brock A ‘unsociables’ won 10-3 at home to the Fox’s. No doubt the Reynards were not best pleased as they have amassed just 5 points thus far, but it is early yet and they have played the top two, so things will get easier. The Brock A sit second to the Nap A and must be as popular in Kirkdale Road as George ‘we’re all in it together’ Osborne is in the House of Lords, or paradoxically on the average council estate. He has done well to be universally reviled, but I am sure that will not bother him or his family as they holiday in Gstaad again this Winter. It has to be said that it has not taken the Tories long to put the boot in to the poor hard-working families that voted for them in droves. The food banks must be bracing themselves for tax credit dependents queuing at their doors.
The Catford CC secured their first win of the season, so fair play for that, as the POW lost their second game of the summer by 6 – 7. Unlucky, but they have the solace of 12 points, which is no disgrace at all. Talking of disgrace, brings us nicely to Sepp Blatter, who has the bare faced cheek to openly admit, what we all suspected, that the votes in the 2018 World Cup bidding process were irrelevant as it had been stitched up. Only good thing is thinking what Prince William, ‘call me Villa Dave’ Cameron and David Beckham think about wasting their time, not to mention £2.5M of public money sucking up to these corrupt FIFA officials, in the pursuit of 1 single solitary vote.
Take care of yourselves, but if not at least nurse your pints.
Darts Pie and a Pint
Welcome back to the blog you lucky people, how you must have missed it, yes both of you! Hopefully this will be a great winter season and have you reaching for the champagne, not the phone number of a certain Swiss clinic.
The Penge boys started the season in fine fettle with a 10 – 3 home win against the Rising Sun. Streaking ahead of the field like Theo Walcott, when the mood takes him. A tough place to go for the Lewisham lads and even tougher to get home from….. So it’s nosebleeds all round at the Royston once again.
As mismatches go this was up there with rugger bugger Boris Johnson wiping out a 10 year old Japanese lad in a game of street rugby intended to promote harmony between our nations. Fortunately, the innocent victim was not injured and that gave BJ an opportunity to try to make political capital out of it. He said that the lad ‘bouncing back and taking it so well was a metaphor for life’. I would think that a better lesson would be ‘beware the lumbering Tory bully with no concern for anyone more vunerable than himself’.
The Brick A came from behind in fine style, as they like to do, against the HGRC, winning by one leg. A good performance by the Hither Green crew as this is a difficult venue at the best of times. If you can stomach the food and the locals you are doing well, quite apart from the darts and Harry’s band of heroes.
The good brethren from the Fellowship made their first division bow with an away win at the Maple Tree, Penge’s finest venue. It was 7 – 6 to the pilgrims as they performed with credit, unlike the Northern Hemisphere at the Rugby World Cup, who treated the oval ball like a particularly ugly stranger covered in soap. A notable exception were Scotland, who were apparently cheated, unlucky, harshly treated and heroic. This left them devastated, gutted and completely destroyed ……. it was wonderful. Sadly Andy ‘cry baby’ Murray was unavailable for comment. So it is hats off to Craig Joubert, the South African ref with the impressive turn of speed and dodgy eyesight.
The champions, the Railway Telegraph, performed much like premier league champions Chelsea, with a storming start to the season. With a bye, no points, but at least a clean sheet.
Back in the second division, the Nap A cruised to a comfortable 11 – 2 win against the Fox’s. A commendable strong start for the Nap, which will surprise nobody. No such luck for Jurgen ‘Klippety’ Klopp, who in common with his predecessor has a fine pair of ‘railings’. He managed a nil – nil at Spurs that was less dazzling than the gleam from his gnashers.
In the second division, there was one close game as the Brockley B beat the Prince. In a game that was slightly longer than a Mourinho rant, the home side emerged victorious by the odd leg. A good start for both sides and they can look forward with optimism this term, unlike the Labour party, with new leader Jeremy Corby Trouser Unpressed.
Meanwhile the A side from SE4 won 11-2 at the Catford CC. A great start for the Brockley Unsocial boys and girls. Hopefully the game was more entertaining than the cricket in Abu Dhabi for the first four turgid days of the Pakistan v England test, where the runs came as easily as in a dysentery ward in Bangalore and wickets were rarer than virgins in this league of ours.
The Catford Cyphers (venue for Saturday’s presentation) also amassed 11 legs, a bit like a Heather Mills gang bang, against the Nap B. A good result for the Cyphers away from home, although you wouldn’t want to put a tube driver’s wage on the Napier second string in any event. Hopefully they have a good season and make me eat my unjustified words….
Enjoy the season, if not your playing partner.
See you at the Pres, if I don’t see you first!
Darts Pie and a Pint
You lucky people have been spared the rubbish I churn out for a couple of weeks, but here is the beginning of the clearing of the backlog, now that work and personal commitments have eased a little. Apologies if you have been chomping at the bit.
At the top of Div 1, it is as you were as the Brick, Penge Trades and Railway Tel all won. As a result it is tighter still at the top like the proverbial gnat’s nethers or Rita Ora’s latest dress....
Two huge events in Penge this week, and in the first the Maple Tree hosted the table topping Brick and Harry’s heroes ran out winners by the odd leg in a tough encounter. A notable effort though, by Steve Corley as he hit two 180s. This was a creditable result for the Maple and one that keeps them clear of the bottom, unlike Chile’s Gonzalo Jara. In the Copa America quarter final Jara, (an amateur proctologist it appears) provoked Edson Cavani with an unwelcome digit. It was very generous of Jara to offer a prostate examination, but probably would have been wiser to wait until back in the dressing room, rather than in front of a worldwide audience.
Talking of digitally enhanced backsides, JLo offered her ex, Ben Affleck a shoulder to cry on as he split from his wife. Can’t help feeling that Ben has missed a trick here, as Jenny from the block has preferable body parts on which to cry! No such big arses are ever on show at the Penge Trades, where the Napier A were the visitors and secured a decent haul of 6 points at this ever-popular venue. The Penge boy’s nasal capillaries are feeling the strain again as they sit top of the table for a further week.
The RT travelled to Hither Green in search of revenge for their only reverse of the year so far and achieved an 8 – 5 win in ‘the bunker’. Hard not to like this venue though, with Kroney 1664 at only £3 a pint. The HGRC are making a good fist of it this season unlike Gonzalo Jara!
In Division 2, the Cyphers won again, yawn, as they plundered 10 points in Bovill Road and the Nap B continue their search for their first win of the season on the oche. Rather like Katie Price searching for an ounce of dignity in her ridiculous life, but at least the Nap have a chance of finding one.
The Fellowship returned to winning ways at the Prince with the third away win of the week. The Brethren won 8 – 5 and no doubt with that their faith has been restored. Meanwhile the Prince’s prayers remained unanswered with another defeat, but it is never easy playing against a team with the ‘big man upstairs’ on their side, unless it was Sam Lardyarse’s West Ham in the second half of last season.
At the Brockley Unsocial, the Fox’s won by 8 – 5 which keeps the top two on their toes and cements a good season so far. Not a good week for the home side, but not as bad as that of Laura Bassett, the England defender in Canada for the World Cup semi-final. Unlike her namesake Bertie, she proved far from Britain’s greatest asset as she lashed home an impressive own goal with just seconds left against the undeserving Japanese side. Hard luck Laura, but in hindsight it is very funny. Less funny at 2am though, I don’t know about you, but this is not the first time I been up into the early hours expectantly, just for a lady’s single unfortunately placed kick to ruin all hope of a result!
So remember, to paraphrase Johnny Vaughan, never let the darts spoil a good day at the darts...
Darts Pie and a Pint
Some high scoring in the top division this week and it remains tight at the sharp end, a bit like Greece’s financial plight before their austerity referendum. Dunno, but who in their right mind would vote for austerity anyway? Oh yes, the British working class. Well as long as George Osborne enjoys his annual holiday in Gstaad and Chelsea season ticket, who can complain? Things have got so bad that I have sold my wallet, but I have no use for it anyway…..
A 9-4 win for the Brick at home to the HGRC leaves them hot on the heels of the Penge Trades. Like Arsene Wenger and Petr Cech. But unlike the crash-hatted custodian, will they ever be caught? The Hither Green club played out their second 4-9 on the spin and their early season challenge appears to be fading . But it is a creditable first season back in the top flight for them so far. As for the Brick there was no 180 for Ali Hill, so thank God I will not have to mention her again this week!
Meanwhile in pulsating Penge , it was derby time. The Maple offered their usual warm welcome and the Penge boys, lustily grabbed it with both hands (not for the first time), and to a large extent abused said hospitality by running out 11-2 winners on the night. Good stuff from Mark Le Unpronouncable, Famous Seamus, ‘Mashie’ Niblock and the crew as they top the table and walked home happily no doubt. The Maple boys will have to lick their wounds and go again, like the laughable Lib Dems and lamentable Labour Party.
At the Railway Telegraph it was another 11-2 as the Napier A were beaten, largely due to Steve ‘the Baron’ Hill hitting 4 game shots, which is a good effort from the follicly challenged one. On a night where the atmosphere was almost as bad as the food, the Nap A slipped to their 7th defeat of the season, still searching for that first win.
In Div 2, astonishingly enough the Fellowship lost 8-5! On the face of it this is as big a shock as a “No” from the eldest Minogue sister, but they were playing the unbeaten Cyphers , so actually it is less of a shock after all, much akin to a six hit in the ODI series with New Zealand. These two sides will battle all the way to the finish I am sure.
The Brock Soc A had a good away win 10 - 3 at the Prince, where further shenanigans ensued, but at least the game was completed this week. The top two look strong, but at least the Brock A are keeping them honest, as I am sure we all hope Mo Farah turns out to be, if we don’t want our Olympic memories to be tarnished beyond repair. “Say it ain’t so Mo? ”. The Prince stay rooted to the bottom and need a revival of Lazarus-style proportions to rise up the league, particularly as they play the brethren next week.
The Fox’s are also making the top two look over their shoulders and they travelled to Brockley to beat the B side 9 -4 in what sounded a good encounter. A fine win for the Kirkdale crew, a bunch of solid citizens, unlike Slaven Bilic, the new West Ham manager, who famously put on a better performance than Bob de Niro, condemning Lauren Blanc to a spectator role in the World Cup final in 1998. Still, as they tell us he is a nice bloke and a West Ham legend (48 appearances).
Keep smiling and toe the oche in hope, if not expectation.
Darts Pie and a Pint
So, because of a week’s delay, due to over-indulgence at the weekend and a hectic work schedule, I get the chance this week to double up. For most of us sadly, that is just a fantasy and not a reality, but don’t despair boys and girls there is always presentation night on June 20th!
There was a titanic clash at the Railway Telegraph, where the home side beat the Brick by 8 – 5. It was a night that largely belonged to the ‘Wizard of Wozz’, as he hit 4 doubles and two maximums, in a great display of dartsmanship. Also a night notable for the ‘Wizard that Was’, Charlie Nicholas, as he returned from illness and inspired his team to a good win against worthy opponents.
Well done to The Maple Tree boys as they achieved their first win of the season, when they travelled to Bovill Road and won by 3 legs. This leaves the Nap A still hanging around, like a visitor to Alton Towers, for their first win this season.
The HGRC hosted the ‘Royston Mob’ and the Penge noisy crew hit double figures after their exhausting, mammoth trip across town. It may sound a one-sided affair, however I bet it was more entertaining than Ireland 0 England 0, but at least insomniacs across the land snored their loud approval.
In Div 2, there was another win for the unstoppable Fellowship brethren,’let us pray’ that someone gives them a game soon. They beat the Brock Soc A 9 – 4 to continue what seems to be their impressive march to the title in true Christian soldier style. The Brockley side were 3 nil up, but maybe on a wave of euphoria, let things slide. A little like lovely Kate Moss, who was escorted off a plane at Luton Airport after strolling up and down the aisle swigging her own bottle of vodka and calling the pilot a “basic bitch”, apparently without a hint of irony. It was interestingly an Easyjet flight, yes EASYJET! Sounds like this latest boyf is a keeper Kate. The iconic model is from Croydon, in case you were not aware, as they say you can take the girl out of Croydon, but you can’t take half of Croydon out of the girl. Croydon is quite near Penge.
There was a suitably close game between the Div 2 challengers and the Cat Cyphers won through by 7 legs to 6 against the Fox’s. It was a good result for the consistent Cyphers and a disappointing week for the Fox’s boys. Not as bad a performance as the speech by 72 year old Nobel laureate, Sir Tim Hunt, an eminent scientist, not a rhyming slang, with his withering comments about women scientists leading to his resignation and no doubt tears before bedtime.
The Brock Soc B got their second win on the spin, and deserve praise for that, 9 - 4 against the Nap B who are still winless and face a trip to the Prince next week. As bottom battles go, this is worthy of a Kardashian family reunion.
Keep your chins up and your darts sharp this week.
Darts Pie and a Pint
(Week 6 is below)
I have completed a 10 bridges (10 mile) sponsored walk in aid of Cancer Research if anyone would like to make a kind donation please click the link below
Starting at the bottom this week, as regular readers will know is my style, the eagerly awaited clash at the Prince with the stalwarts of the Nap B was a battle royal, but sadly not on the oche. The match was abandoned after a pretty serious sounding assault occurred, unrelated to either team. Details of the fight are sketchy, with even the judges scorecards seemingly mislaid. But suffice it to say that the police were called after an ugly incident. If every incidence of ugliness requires a 999 call, I fancy the plods will be pretty busy in Brockley on the 20th June.
Our prayers from last week were answered as the Fox’s gave the formidable Fellowship a run for their money, unlike my Derby selection, and lost by the odd leg in Bellingham. Two defeats for the Fox’s, but 12 points, in the last fortnight against the top two augurs well for the rest of the season.
In the Brockley derby, the A beat the B by 9 to 4 although to be fair they were at home! The Brock A are building steadily this term and the Brock B have moved away from the bottom with these points. Although this had little to do with purely darts, and more to do with a misdirected bottle and the intervention of the police.
Talking of Old Bill, in the first division, the Bricklayers took full advantage of the Napier’s hospitality and restricted them to a ‘Heather Mills' (one leg) gorging on points with all the greed of Raheem Sterling and his agent in a boardroom. The cokes and cordials flowed liberally, as the Brick celebrated in fine, if healthy/designated driver style and returned to the top of the league standings.
Indeed, it is now tighter at the top than Ron Jeremy’s waistband, as the RT and Penge locked horns this week and in what Chris Clements described memorably as a ‘great game’ (as the Penge broke their duck), the evening was enjoyed by all. It was easier to get hot water, in the frankly Spartan gents, than to secure a win on a night of top quality darts and great sportsmanship. The RT ran out 8 – 5 winners, meaning that the top three have just 2 points between them.
The Maple Tree secured the third away win of the evening in the division with a 9 – 4 win at the HGRC, a surprisingly large defeat for the home side. Somewhat less surprising was the indictment of Jack Warner, a man previously thrown out of FIFA for being too bent, he was let back in of course. But it is amazing really, that anyone is considered too corrupt by FIFA! That is like being described as too fat to play darts, so step forward Rafa Benitez, the new Real Madrid manager...... To be fair the fattest part of Benitez is his mouth!
Play with a smile and don’t forget your darts (like some idiot blog writer I know)
Some of you saddos have expressed an interest in my posting links to some of my previous football blogs. They are a little dated, but as they are about things we all remember they may still amuse,World Cup finals, Gazza and Moaty, Crouch and the Prostitute...
It is fair to say that they are not in the same gentle style as the darts blogs and may offend some people, so if you think that may be you please don't read them.
My alias was Sean Mathias as you will see
Darts Pie and a Pint
The top two in Div 1 clashed in a battle royal at the Penge fortress also known as the Royston and the home side emerged victorious in a bruising battle by the odd leg. Highlights of the night were the titanic leg between ‘Famous’ Seamus and the returning Steve Corley, and also Ali Hill cleaning up in her singles with a leg of distinction. Fair play to Ali, without doubt everyone’s favourite lady in the Brick team.
The Railway Telegraph, after their home defeat last week, rose from the ashes phoenix-like to beat the Maple Tree by a surprising margin of 10 – 3. The Maple put up a good fight though, unlike Aston Villa who apparently turned up at Wembley, although I saw no evidence of that. David Cameron meanwhile, was disappointed that West Ham had lost their manager Sam Lardyarse, until he remembered that he was lifelong Villa supporter. No surprise that he forgot who he supported, as lying is not just a habit, but a way of life for this Tory reptile. The Maple now face a game at the Nap A, that already has the look of a basement battle, unless either team can switch their fortunes around, as the talent in their teams could easily facilitate. The RT have returned to within two points of the top and face a trip to the Brick in a return to their old stamping ground and no doubt another enjoyable clash with Harry’s heroes.
The HGRC had another impressive win by 9 points against the Nap A who remain at the bottom as a result. The Hither Green crew have made the division a genuine 4-horse race and this score will not have been unnoticed by the ‘big three’ of former seasons. The old order could easily be disturbed and not before time. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for FIFA, where Septic Blather won a fifth term as President of the discredited and disgusting world football authority. It is not so much a case of turkeys voting for Christmas, as turkeys voting for sacks more corn please and Christmas being delayed until some undetermined future date. Now surely UEFA MUST withdraw from FIFA. If only Platini had some Ballon d’Ors!
In Div 2, the Fellowship went joint top after a 10 – 3 win at the Nap B. They have made an impressive start to the season and have the look of a runaway train about them. The Brock Soc A will look to provide some buffers next week though, I am sure. The Nap B stay in peril after this result, looking desperately at the bottom, much as I did when I met Rita Ora at the Oscars.
In SE4, a great game between the Cyphers and the Brock Soc A ended with the away side prevailing by 7 – 6. The Cyphers are top by virtue of the alphabet, and after their curtailed start with a first week bye, the Brockley Unsocial A have started brightly. Let’s hope the same can be said of Arsenal next season, so that ‘Mr Misery’, Arsene Wenger can crack a smile at last, as he is the only person in the world to smile less than the Queen. Please cheer up Mr Wenger and lose the title with good grace next time, perhaps learning that defence is as much a part of the game as attack, even though you find it unpalatable and beneath you.
At the bottom, and few can deny it is a good place to be, especially when Kylie comes knocking, the Brock Soc B won 9 – 4 against the Prince. Well done to the Brockley B for their first win of the season and a good points haul against the Prince. The Prince are still searching for their first success, perhaps they should drop Kylie a text next week to guarantee a result.
Keep your Thursdays fun and your weekends drunken.
Darts Spy and a Pint
This week saw the top two draw away in Div 1, the Brick and Penge are level on points and so the dreaded alphabetic order rears it’s ugly head again. There is no truth in the rumour that the Penge boys are considering a move to the Anerley Arms as a consequence of being kept so unfairly off the top. The Brick beat the Maple 8 – 5 in a good week for them. Better teamwork by far than Lewis Hamilton experienced at Monaco, where his expensively assembled and experienced Mercedes colleagues managed to secure him third place by unnecessarily dragging him into the pits. The Maple lost their third match of the season, but it is no disgrace to get 5 legs against the table topping Brick.
Another expensively assembled and experienced crew, Penge Trades, picked up 10 points at the Napier as the Nap A slumped to their third defeat and remain at the bottom. A thumping good result for Mark et al, as they move level with the Brick. Not such a good week for Alan H, but at least not as disastrous as some other sporting administrators, as FIFA bigwigs swapped their 5 star luxury hotels for Swiss police cells when the stench of corruption finally permeated the nostrils of the authorities after two decades of pure greed and very obvious criminality.
The Hither Green RC had a fine win at the RT as they took full advantage of their superior double hitting prowess to win 8 – 5. At least they allowed the hosts 5 points. The Eurovision hosts Austria getting the unwelcome ‘Nul Points’ from their ungrateful guest nations, I bet the free bar in Vienna did not last long after that result.
In Div 2, the Cat Cyphers stay top, but the impressive debutants at the Fellowship continue to cast all aside as they completed a 12 – 1 win against the Prince. The rest last week clearly did them good as they now have a couple of dozen points in two games and the Nap B must be quaking in their boots at the prospect of their visit next week. However despite this defeat I am sure that fellow newbies the Prince of Wales will not be chucking the towel in, or in their case, abdicating, any time soon. The same cannot be said of Tony Blair, who is resigning as the UN Middle East Peace Envoy after years of unqualified success. Surely this has now been usurped as the most ridiculous appointment ever, since Katie Hopkins was made the new CEO of Weightwatchers, with the slogan ‘Stop eating tubbies’ as her opening gambit.
Meanwhile the Cat Cyphers beat the Nap B by 10 – 3 in a successful attempt to stay at the top of the tree. Looking like a good outfit this season, they are going from strength to strength, like a darting equivalent of Jose Mourinho, but perhaps a tad less arrogant... The Nap B are moving away from the bottom, but suffered a third loss and will be keen to improve next week against the in-form brethren of the Fellowship.
In the closest game of the week the Fox’s lost to the Brockley A by the odd leg at home. Both sides have started well and it looks like being a good fight with some good teams in the second flight this summer. Certainly it will be a better contest than the Labour party leadership contest, which has had more bail outs than a Mediterranean lifeboat, and is like a strange game of pass-the-parcel where the prize smells worse as each layer is removed.
Enjoy your league, it is yours so make it a good one.
GREAT DARTS !!
Darts Pie and a Pint
Let’s start at the top of division 1, where the Brick racked up an impressive 10 -3 win at the Hither Green Club. A great start for Harry’s heroes (and heroine) and they can look forward with optimism to their next game against the Maple with a 2 point cushion at the top. A disappointing result for the HGRC, but at least they put up a fight, unlike gutless Newcastle. Not sure about you, but watching the Toon go down is what I really want to see this season, but clearly not as much as their players. At least they have the self-confessed “best coach in the Premier League” in John Carver and who can dispute that?
Speaking of great leaders, Mark of the Penge Trades galvanised his troops after an opening week defeat, to achieve a 10-3 win at home to the Maple Tree in the local derby clash. The boys from Maple Road only mustered 3 points and now sit at the bottom of the league with work to be done to get their season back on track. 3 points was more than Stevie G managed in his final appearance at Anfield, as some team called Crystal Palace, (near Penge I believe), managed to take the Europa league hopefuls apart at the weekend.
At the Napier, the A team hosted the RT and slipped, Stevie G style, to a defeat by 9 legs to 4, in a game that was much tighter than the score would suggest. Elsewhere a tragedy unfolded as news that the mighty Dulwich Hamlet had lost their playoff semi filtered through, but that is enough self-pitying, self- indulgence for one week.
Moving on swiftly to Div 2, there was no hint of self-pity as the Fox’s marched to the top with another win at home to the Prince. This early promise bodes well for the future, unlike that of Chuka Umanna, the early favourite for the Labour leadership, who ‘Chuked’ the towel in at the first sign of his Mum getting a bit flustered and news breaking that he used to go to nightclubs. Shocking! As for the Prince, namesake Chuck had an interesting week, as he shook hands with Gerry Adams, in what must have been a chummy affair. They will have to lift their spirits, not to mention their averages, before their game against the Fellowship on Thursday.
Elsewhere, the Brock Soc A made their seasonal bow and handed out a thorough beating to the Nap B. A good result in Brockley as they scored 11 points and came out of the blocks like Nigel Farage at opening time. A poor week for the Nap B and also for the desperate pop princess Kylie Minogue, who confessed to being unlucky.. lucky.. lucky in love and happy to hook up with “any bloke”, even one that was “balding with a paunch” So step forward men of the FHDDL and form an orderly queue, as that covers at least half of our league.
In the final game this week, Brock Soc B lost 9 -4 at the Catford Cyphers and now look up at the table, rather than down as they drop to the basement. Having fallen to their second defeat, they must be hoping for an upturn in fortunes similar to that experienced by Sunderland and have a week to lick their wounds before returning refreshed to the fray.They may have had a bad week, but it was nothing compared to Hull City’s beleaguered manager Steve Bruce, whose luck is so bad even Kylie said no! There again, he does have the look of a huge chubby baby while filling his nappy. The Cyphers, meanwhile, move into second place with this impressive win.
Keep smiling and play each game like it was your last, one day you will be right.
Darts Pie and a Pint